This blog serves to keep you updated on my trip to the Philippines this summer. June through August of 2011, I will be a student missionary serving in Mindanao with the International Mission Board. To learn more about my experiences, read on or visit www.nehemiahteams.com :)
When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”
Matthew 9:36-38
One of our biggest concerns here is the need for full-time workers in the Lord’s harvest field. The kids are used to (American) short-term visitors. They know when each team will arrive and depart. They ask a lot of questions, and the top questions are “When are you leaving?” “Are you coming back?” “Why will you leave us?” “When will you return?” Very rarely do these kids receive answers they want to hear. They are used to hearing, “Well, if it’s God’s will…I might return.” Though that may be a true statement, it is usually our way of saying no…except it’s truly a no with a coat of sugar on top.
At the home in Malaybalay, there is the need for house parents, who truly have hearts for the Lord Jesus and for orphans. Short-termers are great and provide awesome relief for the workers, but full-time staff is necessary. These kids need true discipleship and honest discipline, two things that take time. For steadfast faith among disciples of Christ, I’m not so sure two-week or even two-month trips will accomplish this.
These kids need people who care, not for a few weeks out of the year, but who care enough to give their lives to these kids for the sake of the Gospel. I don’t have all the answers, but below are some things I have found to be true for the calling on my life.
·In Matthew 9:37-38, Jesus told his disciples to pray for workers. He says to ask the Lord to send out workers. He was not as concerned about people not believing and accepting Him as He was about His workers simply not going to proclaim His Good News. It was more so a matter of His followers not reaching the Lost than the Lost not coming to the Father.
·God has blessed us for His glory. He uses our plenty to supply others’ needs. 2 Corinthians 8:14
·So give. Give generously, abundantly, and sacrificially. Give because Christ is in you. Give because your heart has been captured by a Savior who has produced in you “overflowing joy” welling up in “rich generosity.” (David Platt)(2 Corinthians 8:12)
·Isn’t God good? Yes, He is good. He is good even when he calls you and me to places that are dirty and disease ridden. He is good even when we end up possibly sharing in the diseases of the people we got to serve. He is good because he has met us at our deepest need and now uses us to show his glory and to advance his gospel among the places of greatest need in the world. (David Platt)
·Sometimes, God doesn’t just want your money. He wants your heart totally surrendered to Him so that when He calls, your answer is always “yes.” Sometimes, He wants you to abandon your comforts and plans, to pursue His plan and purpose.
After spending time with a brother in Africa, the man thanked David Platt for being with him when he needed a brother. He notes, “a true brother comes tobe with you in your time of need. When God chose to bring salvation to you andMe, he did not send gold or silver, cash or check. He sent Himself—the Son.”
A question that is consistently asked is “why will you leave us?” They know all of our hearts are for missions, and that 3 of us desire to become full-time cross-cultural missionaries. The kids ask us where we will be missionaries, and we usually say we do not know. What follows are shouts of “Here! Ate! You be missionaries here.” This breaks our hearts, but also opens our eyes to the real need for discipleship to take place here.
Imagine what could happen if these kids were trained in the Word of God and went out into the world to proclaim the Good News. What if they didn’t need our money to accomplish this, but they needed our devotion to living with them and teaching them? What if we stopped thinking about how much we could spare whether financially or timely, and began to ask how much it was going to take to complete the task? What would happen if we then actually set out to accomplish the task because our Savior has already given us the command to go and make disciples. Why not teach these orphans to be disciples?
I am convinced they need more than American money. I am convinced they need and deserve more than two-week or two-month visits. I am convinced that God cares more about bringing the lost to Himself than our own comforts in America. I am convinced that these orphans are God’s harvest field, and that Jesus has called out workers to come to them. It may be you and it may be me, how will we use what He has given us to bless these kids for the long haul with the goal of exalting the glory of Christ as we express His gospel to them?
The past few weeks have been packed full of new and exciting things. I’ve learned lots of new things and the Lord continues to teach me through experiences and people here. Below are some of what I’ve learned and want to share with the world.
It’s hard to describe what takes place in the home. For the protection of the staff, I will not share too many specifics, but just know that it is very different than America. Once you see my pictures upon my return home, you will maybe understand a little more about these dear children. They are not just orphan statistics. They are real kids with real stories with real hearts with real devotion to the Lord with real hopes and dreams of following His will for their lives. Just like David Platt observed, I’ve noticed that orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names, see their faces, and get to know them. It’s easy to pretend they will be okay before you hold them in your arms. It’s easy to not empathize with the fact that there are millions starving while we eat a $10 meal in America (which pretty much would provide at least a week of meals over here). It’s easy to not really believe the conditions they live in. It’s so easy to ignore and stick to our comforts until you abandon them and rely on Jesus to see you through day to day. It’s easy until you’re here and you see the needs. Once you do, everything changes. The statistics become real children who need parents. They become the people we are told to be voices for. They become who you want to help and who you desperately want to love and care for.
Let’s talk about His grace.
One day I experienced frustration when left with C (he has cerebral palsy). He just throws a fit when Nana leaves him. He will literally cry until he makes himself sick. She then walks over and says “oh bye bye!” and basically teases him. So he continues to scream and wail in my arms. At least 10 minutes go by and there is no sign of relief. I continue to hold him as he screams, slobbers, kicks, and scratches me. At some point, pee runs down onto my fairly clean pants. There is now slobber all over my left arm sleeve and drool and tears all over my hands and legs. Needless to say, I felt gross and unclean. Disgusting didn’t come near to describing how I felt, how I looked, and how my attitude was. I happened to have also not had the opportunity to shower that morning, so I was sporting yesterday’s shower, hair-do, deodorant, and junk.
So when my shift was over, I was ready for my cold shower, a good cry, and some time with Jesus….in that order preferably. On the way to my house, E ran up to me with a huge smile, “Ate Ate!” I tried to ignore him, but he persisted. “Ate Joelle! Swing! Swing!” I pushed his hand away as he reached to lead me to the swing set and mumbled, “No…not now…later.” I then walked away to head to my house, leaving E with his head down and no one to play with.
As I walked away I felt bad about what I had done to him, how I had treated him, but I wanted that shower before I lost it. So I went back and showered as tears filled my eyes. Only these tears were tears of apology, of regret, of remorse, not tears because I had some awful and unbearable 20 some minutes with a Filipino child. They were tears of realization. I just pushed away the very person whom I love and brings me such joy every single day, the person with the most forgiving heart, the person who listens the best, the first person who welcomed me at the home.
As I digested this, I spent time with Jesus and was reminded how often I do this to Him. Something seems to always distract me from the One who loves me most and sees me as this precious and beautiful child of God. When I looked at my reading schedule for the day, I was led to Psalm 51. I smiled because I realized God was going to use this very day to bring humility to my life, He had this lesson planned for me. He wanted to illustrate how much grace He has given me and continues to give each day even as I find so many other things “more important.” Yes, even in the Philippines. Going overseas does not make me perfect or more holy; if anything, I’ve seen more of my faults, selfishness, and sinful nature revealed herethan any other time in my life….I spent some time thinking about how gracefully He has removed my iniquity and blotted out my sin. But it came at a price, a price I could never pay.
The next few moments that took place are between the Lord and me, but to further reveal God’s amazing grace…When I saw E about 2 hours later, he still gave me his biggest smile and said “Ate!” as he held my hand. What an amazing picture. He had no observation of how dirty I had been or how clean I now was. He had no recollection of how I had treated him earlier. He remembered not my frown, my tone of voice, or my neglect to spend time with him. And so it is with Jesus. His blood covers me, and though my sin and neglect is not to be tolerated, He forgives me and grants me more grace.
This is God’s amazing grace…something I don’t know I will ever fully grasp, but I thank the Lord He continues to use me and teach me. Thankfully, He hasn’t given up on me or withheld His grace from me. He’s not finished with me yet!
The scene we see at church here is vastly different from what we see in America. After the sermon, it is time to take up tithes and offerings. I look around and see Filipinos young and old ready to give obediently. They calmly empty their pockets. They have come ready to give back what God has blessed them with. As I watch, I notice that most take out coins—coins that probably only amount to about 30 to 50 pesos, which is only around $1. So of course to me, it seems like very little so yeah, I could spare some money like that too.
But that would not be putting things into perspective. When you think about it, over 1/3rd of the population live on less than $2 a day, about 20% live on less than $1 each day. That’s over half of Filipinos who are impoverished. Now their tithes look incredibly different to me. They are giving out of what they do not have. They are giving sacrificially. They are giving from the heart. They give to God what they know only He has provided. They give to Him, knowing that He is faithful to provide more once they give to Him. They are giving back to Him what is rightfully His. They truly give…even if it means not eating a meal or even eating for a day so that the Lord can prove faithful and provide ALL their needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
This realization brought to mind the account of Jesus and the widow’s offering in Luke 21:1-4. Jesus confronts those who are rich who contribute what they want from their wealth whereas the widow gives all she has. She gives in reality more than the rich have given because she gives out of what she does not have, while they give their leftovers to God.
Oh how I pray this is not so for us. But conviction soon sat in when I realized that we Americans were the only ones to not give back to God. As I was talking to my parents, we came to the conclusion that it is the Filipinos who have it right. They are dependent on the Lord for their basic needs. They know what it is like to say, “Lord, give us this day our daily bread” and truly mean it. They are not self-sufficient or rich like Americans. We have all we need and much more, and we do not see our need for God’s sustaining power in our lives.
I have seen first hand how God richly provides when you give to Him what is His.
For reminders, see Luke 6:38, Acts 20:35, Proverbs 3:9, 1 Corinthians 13:3, 1 Chronicles 29:9, 11-17, Luke 21:1-4, 2 Corinthians 8:14
Our mid-summer vacation time in Davao was spent with another team that works at an orphanage in Davao city. Their home is much different than ours, but I really enjoyed hearing their stories. It was a great time to catch up and to relax on our vacation. Because our orphanage is funded by Americans, things run differently here. The Davao home is run by Filipinos so funds are sometimes scarce.
When they run out of food, the kids and workers go to the storeroom and lift up their hands to Jehovah-Jireh. They pray for food, and it shows up later by the grace of God. They know what it is to want and need food, and the Lord provides.
One time, the owner didn’t have food for the kids, it didn’t seem like food would come in so she allowed the kids to go to the streets. She couldn’t keep them there if she couldn’t provide for them. This could have meant losing every single orphan she had come to love and cherish. The kids left, as the hours past, the owner was worried and sad that no kids had returned. She was questioning whether or not she had loved them enough or had given them what they needed. They had abandoned her to go back to what she thought she had rescued them from. The hours continued to pass, but as dinner time rolled around, kids began to pour in with food. One kid had gone fishing and brought back plenty of fish for them. Another had been working in a garden all day with a farmer and brought back plenty of fish. Yet another came in with a huge bag of rice. The Lord had provided her with awesome kids and enough food for them in a way that only points to His name and His glory.
Monday, June 20, 2011
These are the toddlers we have spent a lot of time with this week. They are precious and very spoiled surprisingly! We were not expecting that, but they definitely know how to work the system if you know what I mean. They do, however, still need to understand the good news more than in the songs we sing at devotion times. And they need families. They love to blow kisses before bed time, they love to laugh, and they love to smile and take pictures.
Sweet little one from New Faith
At Saturday Fellowship
One of my favorite kids ever... Mom, Dad...this is who I want for Christmas! :)
Sleepover with our big girls!
These boys are crazy and adorable! (The sign means guapo to them, which means handsome)
We have had a crazy week! There has been a lot of confusion (yes, even frustration), but a lot of new and exciting things. We have had the opportunity to share testimonies, lead devotions with the kids, talk about our favorite Bible verses, sing praises to God, change diapers, feed babies, tuck the kids in goodnight, and finally sleep! It has been busy but fun. We've run into a few critters such as the rat/mouse (okay, we haven't actually seen him, but we've found his little presents...), HUGE toads, a snake, lots of geckos, lots and lots of flies, lice, and large cockroaches.
We're getting used to the culture, had a little taste of culture shock this week. Trying to remind ourselves that our ways are not necessarily "right" when it comes to raising babies and children. Pray for patience as we learn more about the national workers, the kids, and this culture. It can be a bit overwhelming at times, but I know there is a reason we are here. We have had an awesome time bonding as a team (with the addition of our American friend, Christina...who has seriously been the biggest blessing from God!) and getting to know the kids at New Faith Family Children's Home.
This week has brought a lot of challenges, but the Filipinos rewarded us with Coca-Cola... and fruit salad... and potato salad... and chocolate cake... and Christina brought us ice cream! We had a sleepover with the "big girls." We've been able to spend quite a bit of time with the older kids, which has been a great time! The boy I want to bring home with me the most told me he loved me on Tuesday. I had to choke back tears to tell him "I love you too." He then says, "your voice...I like...it's just so cute...like a mouse!" Haha, I love this little guy. It's scary and sad to think about leaving them. I'm missing them already...
After some intense security training and some fun team building in Alabama, we headed for the Philippines on June 7th. Main points of orientation: Bless God and take courage. Worthy is the Lamb. Be a loser for Jesus :)
We arrived Davao City, Philippines on June 9th and traveled to the children's home in Malaybalay on the 10th. This country is beautiful! Lots of green scenery and mountains. It's fairly cool where we are, and it rains everyday. It's refreshing though...and muddy!
Filipinos constantly smile, love taking pictures, are very hospitable, speak English very well, love pale skin. Needless to say, we all get along just fine ;)
Day 1: We went to Gaison (the mall) and took pictures with some Filipinos. It was quite funny. The mall was overwhelming because it was 5 stories tall and huge...and crowded with a ton of Filipinos. We definitely stood out. We went to Penong's for supper. You're supposed to eat with your hands, but we decided to play it safe. Filipinos eat with the spoon and use the fork as a bulldozer to push the food onto the spoon. It's pretty nifty and we're enjoying it. They don't typically use napkins or drink with meals in order to get the most food and not fill up on water. We had chicken and rice...the first of many such meals.
Day 2: The Lord is a brilliant Creator! The ride to Bukidnon was absolutely beautiful. Lots of mountains and curves and potholes along the way. We are very impressed with our living conditions, we are definitely blessed! It's just like living in dorms, only a bit more dirty.
Day 3: Woke up to the kids down the road singing praises to Jesus. Beautiful. We had Saturday Fellowship today. This is where the leaders go into the community and bring children (often very poor children if not street children) to the camp on site. We share the gospel with them and provide a meal for them. One of the many things that broke my heart today: When passing out the Soyjoys, kids were hiding them or stuffing them in their pockets and asking for more because they knew they would need it for later. This may have been the only meal they've gotten all week. Also, one of our children at the home, who is special, is the sweetest child ever. He comes up and says "Ate, Ate!" I said, "What's my name?" He said, "Ate Juu...elle!" I said, "You can say Ate Jo" He said, "Ate Jo, Jesus loves me!" I said, "Yes He does! Maayo Kaayo" (That means very good!) He said, "Ate Jo! Jesus loves YOU!" This was an amazing moment.
During Saturday night devotion time with the kids, a faith family from down the road interrupted (to Americans, it would have been interrupting...but not at all to the Filipinos!) It turns out it was a member's birthday, so we sang him 3 happy birthday songs! My favorite was "we wanna wish you a happy birthday...we wanna wish you a happy birthday...from the bottom of our hearts" (to the tune of the Christmas song). We then worshiped the Lord with the kids. One guitar. No hymnals. No projectors. No speakers. No microphones. Just lifting up our voices to our God through songs. Moments like that make the heat and exhaustion worth it. But really, Jesus makes everything worth it. He is the worthy Lamb.
Kids are starting to open up to us. Huge praise! Oh! and we found my luggage on day 1 :) no worries!
Day 4: Church is held in a bamboo shed type thing. Babies/toddlers/kids just kinda run around or sit in everyone's laps. Shared a testimony in church. Talked about Colossians 3:1-3, getting rid of my idols and surrendering to the Lord everything. Only HE can satisfy, and only HE deserves our everything. HE deserves worship for HE is the worthy One.
At church, they sing in English, which is really neat. In Sunday school, Benhard shared from Judges 7 about God's plan. His plan is best, it is different, declared, and distinct. Because God is God and we are not, He requires surrender, submission, and steadfast faith. Pastor Larry shared from Ephesians 4:11-16, the edification of the Church to reach maturity. The Church must be the hands and feet using our gifts to be fed, protected, and growing. Simple statement He made: I do my part, you do your part, and the Body will grow.
Parts of two hymns we sang that morning:
In my heart there rings a melody
There rings a melody with heaven's harmony;
In my heart there rings a melody
There rings a melody of love!
'Twill be my endless theme in glory
With the angels I will sing;
'Twill be a song with glorious harmony
When the courts of heaven ring.
Thus might I hide my blushing face
While His dear cross appears,
Dissolve my heart in thankfulness,
And melt my eyes to tears.
But drops of grief can ne’er repay
The debt of love I owe:
Here, Lord, I give myself away,
’Tis all that I can do.
CRs are short for comfort rooms, what we call restrooms in America. Make sure you bring your own tissue. Highlight of my day (one of them!) I went to a CR and they had toilet paper! Wonderful! Seriously, you kind of miss comforts...and CRs are anything but comfortable!
The Lord is working on our hearts and I'm so excited for what is to come! It is now dinner time so I will post again next week hopefully. Look at the pictures below or on my facebook!
God will make this happen, for he who calls you is faithful.
1 Thessalonians 5:24
God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.
1 Corinthians 1:9
Wow, it’s been quite awhile since I last posted. That means I’m probably going to get pretty chatty! I will try to give a relatively condensed version of what the Lord has been teaching me over the past two months. Actually, condensing was probably not true; I am terrible at condensing my stories, and I like to ramble about what God has done. Who can blame me; we serve a mighty God that deserves all the glory and praise forevermore. Bear with me in this endeavor, God is good! If you don’t get anything else from this blog post, please get the following points:
·God is faithful. (1 Thessalonians 5:24; 1 Corinthians 1:9 among many others!)
·He is good to me even though I am so VERY undeserving. (Romans 5:8 among many others)
·He is merciful, gracious and patient as He leads me in this journey.
·He is constantly making me new. (Revelation 21:5; 2 Corinthians 5:17)
·I will never be perfect, but I bear Christ’s righteousness because He became my sin and died in my place. (2 Corinthians 5:21)
·The Lord adopted me as His daughter, and I can think of no greater love than to be called a child of God! (2 Corinthians 6:18, 1 John 3:1)
(If nothing else, look up the Scripture references… we serve an awesome God! He is Truth.)
What I’d like to do is share a little about the Lord’s leading on my life over the past little while. Hopefully at one point or another, you’ll be able to connect the dots between where I was to where I am now. It’s about to be story time, and we all know how I love details and rabbit trails… so best of luck to you readers, I hope you can piece together this life puzzle. If not…main point = God is faithful.
As I finished out my junior year of undergrad a couple weeks ago, I guess you could say I experienced some form of burnout. I was left feeling pretty exhausted and stressed out; but thankfully, the Lord had something to teach me. He rescued me as He always does, and He had sanctification and ministerial preparation on my heart like usual. I want to pursue full-time ministry as a missionary overseas, and I believe the Lord has been intentionally and directly preparing me for such ministry since 2006. I just did not realize it yet (nor would I have accepted that type of call on my life …nor would I have wanted to even imagine that lifestyle for myself back then).
[Side note: Most of you are familiar with my passion for motherhood. Although I highly value, honor, and believe in the institution of marriage and the plan of parenthood, I think the Lord may have something a little different for my life when it comes to motherhood. This is totally and completely opposite of what you would have ever heard come out of Joelle Forbes’s mouth even just six months ago! Here’s a very short version of how a conversation went with my best friend the other day (by the way, Emily is getting married on Saturday, May 21st!!!).
Joelle: I’m just not so sure that having kids is what God would have for me anymore… what if I am truly supposed to be a mother to orphans? Those children will be my own… there’s a lot more to the missionary life…
Emily: What?! That was the only thing you have always been all for… being a mom was like the only thing you had going for you.
Don’t worry, I didn’t take it personally so there is no need to be offended for me. That is who I was: Joelle Forbes--future supermom and churched up version of a housewife.
What I concluded from my lovely best friend –who is about to become a wife tomorrow!—is that God changes everything. Seriously, when you pray things like, “Lord, change my heart” or “Change my life” or “Make me like You, Jesus” or “I surrender everything to You, do what You will for my life” or “Please rid me of myself so I am all for You and all about You”…when you pray those words as I have done, you better bet the Lord is faithful in fulfilling those requests! And oftentimes, I have the audacity to sit there and ask God, what in the world do YOU think You are doing with ME and MY life?!? Oh wait, did I say I was going to live for you? I really said I would give you everything? I gave You total control? I really said that?
Trust me, He will change you. Hear me on this, the Lord loves you and cares for you. Your sanctification is important to Him; He has an awesome plan for your life. Perhaps He’s waiting for you to give Him the pen to write your story like He was for the first 15 years of my life.]
I never imagined I would abandon myself to live for someone else, to have my one ambition to be making Someone other than myself known among the nations. I also never imagined I would be going across the world to tell others about that Person so soon. The gospel of Christ IS that important. His salvation message is more important than whether or not I get married or have kids of my own. His message calls me to live for Him, and I’m learning that I love Him more than anything this world could ever offer. He is enough, so I’m running after Him alone. Pursuing His amazing grace.
Anyway, the summer before my junior year, I finally decided to get serious about praying for wisdom and for the Lord’s direction on my life. Caution: He WILL change your plans if He has something else that will bring glory to His holy and precious name.
I knew I was called into some kind of ministry in 2006, and I realized that I was neglecting to be involved in ministering to others my first year of college. So I decided to enter the ministry of a prayer leader at Liberty University. As a prayer leader, we spend lots of time in…(yep, you guessed it)…prayer! This ministry changed a lot about who I am and how I communicate with my Savior…mostly because I was given the opportunity to intentionally pray for others and experience growth as I poured what I was learning into the 5 beautiful ladies in my prayer group and interact with my leadership team. I began to pray more and more for God’s direction and clarity on my life. Time and time again, I was led to passages in the Bible that explained who Jesus was and what He called people to do to follow Him. So I realized that I wanted true fellowship with Jesus, I wanted to live a missional life for Him because I believe He calls us to live a life worthy of the Gospel (this means more than a one-time I’m-in-prayer, now-sign-this-card moment). As I continued to pray about this new development in my heart, He continued to lead me to passages that pointed to the ministry of Jesus—to seek and save the lost. It then began to get personally uncomfortable and quite honestly frightening! Jesus was calling me to lay down my life, leave everything, take up my cross, and follow Him. After I decided that obedience was my desire, He then revealed to me that He was still calling me to give up more. I was past the point of being uncomfortable…I had nowhere but the cross to look…He had stripped me of just about everything I had once loved and clung to, now it was He who was holding me. I had truly fallen in love with Jesus. He became everything. He is everything.
That’s where this trip to the Philippines came in…and I’m sure in another blog post, I will share more about how I was called to serve in the Philippines in the summer of 2011, but I’ll have to skip over that part for now so I can get to what God has specifically laid on my heart the last two months.
Now…back to the beginning of the blog.
God used the past two months to once again reveal that His faithfulness stretches to the skies (Psalm 36:5; 57:10). It all began with my call to ministry, and He continues to further clarify this direction, while also teaching me to walk humbly with Him, trusting Him every step of the way.
At this point in my life, He wanted to show me what happens in ministry when I don’t get rest and try to rely on my own strength and power. Unfortunately it’s easy to take the focus off of God and place it on myself. This is usually the point where I begin to worry if not absolutely panic about every detail of every situation. Questions and doubt come into play, and I feel overwhelmed and defeated.
I’m reminded of Elijah in 1 Kings 17-19 when I think about my feelings of burn out. Elijah, once experiencing awesome provision from God (not sure if being fed by ravens is exactly our modern-day definition of awesome but stick with me), is then called to go somewhere else. He is sent on the mission to which God called Him. The brook dries up, but the Lord is still faithful! Elijah is called and then has this totally awesome experience (this is probably the better picture of awesome…check it out! 1 Kings 18:16-46). He is given strength from God to call down fire from heaven on the altar to prove that the prophets of Baal are worshiping false gods and that the Lord is indeed God. God faithfully provides and these people turn to praise that the Lord is God. After having this awesome experience with God, Elijah flees for fear of His life. He pleads with God for his life to be taken; God later provides rest, food and drink. Elijah needed rest. He was burnt out. Though my year did not quite compare to the amazing work of God in the Israelites and through Elijah, I found my situation similar to Elijah. I needed rest, and I needed God’s provision. I doubted, I pouted, I complained, I pleaded, yet God was faithful and He was still Jehovah-Jireh (Provider!) because the Lord is God and I am not!!
It was during the height of my exhaustion that I was studying the book of Romans. I love this New Testament book. Not only does it present the gospel, it defines faith in the gospel and our position in Christ thanks to His death, burial, and resurrection. Romans 3:3 specifically stood out to me one stressful week. Apostle Paul asks, “What if some did not have faith? Will their lack of faith nullify God’s faithfulness?”
The first time I read the verse, I wrote it down and moved on. It wasn’t something I really wanted to hear or read considering the huge accumulating to-do list I had for the week on top of the long list of things that needed to be worked out but weren’t getting anywhere (prayers that still weren’t answered according to MY thoughts and plans… details of the trip that I wanted to know… internship paperwork that was frustrating and time-consuming… leadership events that required time and energy that I didn’t think I had… and my complaints went on and on). So needless to say, I wasn’t really in the mood for the “where is your faith?” speech from Jesus. (Luke 8:25)
The next day, I was beyond tired. I needed sleep, but I also needed time to spend actually listening to the Spirit. So I listened. This is what in my heart I heard, “What if YOU did not have faith? Will YOUR lack of faith nullify God’s faithfulness?” …So I asked myself, “What if I did not have faith? Will MY lack of faith nullify God’s faithfulness?”
And then it hit me.
1. I lacked faith, yet God was still faithful.
2. The Kingdom of God does not depend or rely on ME. It actually has fairly little to do with me. I am simply a voice and a vessel that God has chosen to use for HIS glory. It’s not about me. It’s all about JESUS.
You might be thinking that it’s easy to say God is faithful and to convince yourself of that, but where’s the proof? Well, that huge to-do list and that long list of worries…they were all taken care of… on that day…AFTER I listened to the Holy Spirit ask me if my unbelief caused God to be unfaithful. When I felt the prodding of the Spirit, I answered as I did above. It’s not about me (thankfully), and Your faithfulness does not depend on what I do or don’t do, if I believe or not, if I have faith or doubt or worry….
The proof: the prayer requests had indeed been answered, and I now see the good of the situations. A door actually wound up being opened that I believed was closed. One important note here: God’s ways and thoughts are not mine (SEE Isaiah 55:8-9!) The details of the trip were actually brought to my attention through a couple e-mails I got from my contact in the Philippines within a couple days, definitely in time for me to complete my paperwork on time and avoid the $100 late fee! The internship paperwork was then completed and fulfilled a complete hour before the deadline, which then allowed me to complete BOTH my internships this summer (huge praise!). Those were just a few of my worries that literally cost me hours of pouting and complaining… Despite who I am and how I act, my God is faithful all the time. He will never be unfaithful. He is forever faithful. And unlike you and me, He is UNCHANGING. (If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is. 2 Timothy 2:13)
I end this long post in praise like Isaiah called out, “O LORD, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago.” (Isaiah 25:1) My God is ever faithful :)
God’s faithfulness has never depended on the faithfulness of his children. He is faithful even when we aren’t. When we lack courage, he doesn’t. He has made a history out of using people in spite of people.
Max Lucado
Look to the cross to find God’s ultimate faithfulness.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8
Below is (hopefully) a song that a friend of mine introduced to me when we were talking about "my story." This is a song written and produced by Jordan Herrera. I thought it went well with this post. It's on itunes if you'd like to purchase it!
I had been talking with my (extremely sweet and patient) roommate, Taylor for a couple weeks about what the name of my blog would be, and that is probably the only reason it has taken me so long to post this. As we were throwing out ideas like "To Love Like an Orphan" or "The Prayer of an Orphan," I just could not decide (I know, I'm sure my inability and procrastination to make a decision does not come as a shock to most of you). After two weeks of searching, I was reminded of a Sunday school song I was taught at Thrasher United Methodist Church as a little girl. Since this was where I was first introduced to Jesus as a young child, I felt compelled to share this part of my heart. Some of you may know it, and I encourage you to sing a long with me:
Jesus loves the little children
All the children of the world
Red and yellow
Black and white
They are precious in His sight.
Jesus loves the little children
Of the world.
Jesus died for all the children
All the children of the world
Red and yellow
Black and white
They are precious in His sight.
Jesus died for all the children
Of the world.
Jesus rose for all the children
All the children of the world
Red and yellow
Black and white
They are precious in His sight.
Jesus rose for all the children
Of the world.
This little song has great Truth; and though it may not be profound, it sums up my thoughts about going to reach these orphans in the Philippines. If it is true (which I firmly proclaim that it is) that Jesus loves all children, was crucified on the cross for their sins (and ours), and rose from the dead to give them (and us) new life through Him, then is it not imperative that I go tell these dear orphans about this Truth? Jesus Christ came that we may be abandoned no longer.
"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18
I want to help little orphans in Mindanao understand that God sent His precious Son Jesus to rescue and redeem His precious children, that they are loved and cherished and belong to Him. They are not unloved or unwanted, they simply need to be led into the arms of Christ. That is why I am going on this journey: to lead others to the very One who ransomed my life and made me new.
But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these." Luke 18:16
