A Needed Update!

The past few weeks have been packed full of new and exciting things. I’ve learned lots of new things and the Lord continues to teach me through experiences and people here. Below are some of what I’ve learned and want to share with the world.

It’s hard to describe what takes place in the home. For the protection of the staff, I will not share too many specifics, but just know that it is very different than America. Once you see my pictures upon my return home, you will maybe understand a little more about these dear children. They are not just orphan statistics. They are real kids with real stories with real hearts with real devotion to the Lord with real hopes and dreams of following His will for their lives. Just like David Platt observed, I’ve noticed that orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names, see their faces, and get to know them. It’s easy to pretend they will be okay before you hold them in your arms. It’s easy to not empathize with the fact that there are millions starving while we eat a $10 meal in America (which pretty much would provide at least a week of meals over here). It’s easy to not really believe the conditions they live in. It’s so easy to ignore and stick to our comforts until you abandon them and rely on Jesus to see you through day to day. It’s easy until you’re here and you see the needs. Once you do, everything changes. The statistics become real children who need parents. They become the people we are told to be voices for. They become who you want to help and who you desperately want to love and care for.

Let’s talk about His grace.

One day I experienced frustration when left with C (he has cerebral palsy). He just throws a fit when Nana leaves him. He will literally cry until he makes himself sick. She then walks over and says “oh bye bye!” and basically teases him. So he continues to scream and wail in my arms. At least 10 minutes go by and there is no sign of relief. I continue to hold him as he screams, slobbers, kicks, and scratches me. At some point, pee runs down onto my fairly clean pants. There is now slobber all over my left arm sleeve and drool and tears all over my hands and legs. Needless to say, I felt gross and unclean. Disgusting didn’t come near to describing how I felt, how I looked, and how my attitude was. I happened to have also not had the opportunity to shower that morning, so I was sporting yesterday’s shower, hair-do, deodorant, and junk.

So when my shift was over, I was ready for my cold shower, a good cry, and some time with Jesus….in that order preferably. On the way to my house, E ran up to me with a huge smile, “Ate Ate!” I tried to ignore him, but he persisted. “Ate Joelle! Swing! Swing!” I pushed his hand away as he reached to lead me to the swing set and mumbled, “No…not now…later.” I then walked away to head to my house, leaving E with his head down and no one to play with.

As I walked away I felt bad about what I had done to him, how I had treated him, but I wanted that shower before I lost it. So I went back and showered as tears filled my eyes. Only these tears were tears of apology, of regret, of remorse, not tears because I had some awful and unbearable 20 some minutes with a Filipino child. They were tears of realization. I just pushed away the very person whom I love and brings me such joy every single day, the person with the most forgiving heart, the person who listens the best, the first person who welcomed me at the home.

As I digested this, I spent time with Jesus and was reminded how often I do this to Him. Something seems to always distract me from the One who loves me most and sees me as this precious and beautiful child of God. When I looked at my reading schedule for the day, I was led to Psalm 51. I smiled because I realized God was going to use this very day to bring humility to my life, He had this lesson planned for me. He wanted to illustrate how much grace He has given me and continues to give each day even as I find so many other things “more important.” Yes, even in the Philippines. Going overseas does not make me perfect or more holy; if anything, I’ve seen more of my faults, selfishness, and sinful nature revealed here  than any other time in my life….I spent some time thinking about how gracefully He has removed my iniquity and blotted out my sin. But it came at a price, a price I could never pay.

 The next few moments that took place are between the Lord and me, but to further reveal God’s amazing grace…When I saw E about 2 hours later, he still gave me his biggest smile and said “Ate!” as he held my hand. What an amazing picture. He had no observation of how dirty I had been or how clean I now was. He had no recollection of how I had treated him earlier. He remembered not my frown, my tone of voice, or my neglect to spend time with him. And so it is with Jesus. His blood covers me, and though my sin and neglect is not to be tolerated, He forgives me and grants me more grace.

This is God’s amazing grace…something I don’t know I will ever fully grasp, but I thank the Lord He continues to use me and teach me. Thankfully, He hasn’t given up on me or withheld His grace from me. He’s not finished with me yet!

The scene we see at church here is vastly different from what we see in America. After the sermon, it is time to take up tithes and offerings. I look around and see Filipinos young and old ready to give obediently. They calmly empty their pockets. They have come ready to give back what God has blessed them with. As I watch, I notice that most take out coins—coins that probably only amount to about 30 to 50 pesos, which is only around $1. So of course to me, it seems like very little so yeah, I could spare some money like that too.

But that would not be putting things into perspective. When you think about it, over 1/3^rd of the population live on less than $2 a day, about 20% live on less than $1 each day. That’s over half of Filipinos who are impoverished. Now their tithes look incredibly different to me. They are giving out of what they do not have. They are giving sacrificially. They are giving from the heart. They give to God what they know only He has provided. They give to Him, knowing that He is faithful to provide more once they give to Him. They are giving back to Him what is rightfully His. They truly give…even if it means not eating a meal or even eating for a day so that the Lord can prove faithful and provide ALL their needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

This realization brought to mind the account of Jesus and the widow’s offering in Luke 21:1-4. Jesus confronts those who are rich who contribute what they want from their wealth whereas the widow gives all she has. She gives in reality more than the rich have given because she gives out of what she does not have, while they give their leftovers to God.

Oh how I pray this is not so for us. But conviction soon sat in when I realized that we Americans were the only ones to not give back to God. As I was talking to my parents, we came to the conclusion that it is the Filipinos who have it right. They are dependent on the Lord for their basic needs. They know what it is like to say, “Lord, give us this day our daily bread” and truly mean it. They are not self-sufficient or rich like Americans. We have all we need and much more, and we do not see our need for God’s sustaining power in our lives.

I have seen first hand how God richly provides when you give to Him what is His.

For reminders, see Luke 6:38, Acts 20:35, Proverbs 3:9, 1 Corinthians 13:3, 1 Chronicles 29:9, 11-17, Luke 21:1-4, 2 Corinthians 8:14

Our mid-summer vacation time in Davao was spent with another team that works at an orphanage in Davao city. Their home is much different than ours, but I really enjoyed hearing their stories. It was a great time to catch up and to relax on our vacation. Because our orphanage is funded by Americans, things run differently here. The Davao home is run by Filipinos so funds are sometimes scarce.

When they run out of food, the kids and workers go to the storeroom and lift up their hands to Jehovah-Jireh. They pray for food, and it shows up later by the grace of God. They know what it is to want and need food, and the Lord provides.

One time, the owner didn’t have food for the kids, it didn’t seem like food would come in so she allowed the kids to go to the streets. She couldn’t keep them there if she couldn’t provide for them. This could have meant losing every single orphan she had come to love and cherish. The kids left, as the hours past, the owner was worried and sad that no kids had returned. She was questioning whether or not she had loved them enough or had given them what they needed. They had abandoned her to go back to what she thought she had rescued them from. The hours continued to pass, but as dinner time rolled around, kids began to pour in with food. One kid had gone fishing and brought back plenty of fish for them. Another had been working in a garden all day with a farmer and brought back plenty of fish. Yet another came in with a huge bag of rice. The Lord had provided her with awesome kids and enough food for them in a way that only points to His name and His glory.